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I’m impressed that Moose Jaw has managed to turn a few spurious tourist attractions into a destination.  This past weekend, my wife Jenny and I spent the night there and I had some reflections.  I’ll preface this blog by asking you to please take this as a humourous entry and not an attempt to talk smack about Moose Jaw.  Moose Jaw is a friendly little town and its people are very nice.  I know how proud we in Saskatchewan can be, so I don’t want anyone to feel disrespected.  I have to say though, there are some smoke and mirrors behind the Moose Jaw tourism draw. 

We received stay at the Temple Gardens Mineral Spa as a wedding gift from a good friend --- a really thoughtful gift.  The website for the spa claims that Moose Jaw has the highest number of tourist attractions (per capita) in Canada.  But just what are we calling a tourist attraction?

Here are a couple of the things they’ve listed that struck me as spurious: 

Trudy’s Spa Shop.  Yeah, this was a straight up gift shop in the hotel.  Though I’m sure the 7-11 on 8th Street has tourists stopping in from time to time as they pass through Saskatoon, it wouldn’t classify as a tourist attraction.

Mae Wilson Theatre.  It looks beautiful, but again, it’s just a theatre.  It wasn’t even open when I was walking by, so how is that a tourist attraction?

The spa itself was interesting, but not quite was they advertise it to be.  The website makes it look like a young, luxurious place, but reality was a bit different.  The waters of the spa were indeed relaxing, though upon entering, I was instantly reminded of the movie Cocoon.  Jenny had assumed this was more of a pool and less of a giant hot tub, so she was disappointed that she couldn’t really swim without invoking the ire of the seniors that lined the sides of the pool.  I didn’t see anyone under 50, though a nice man with a big moustache did ask me if I wanted to go to a place where I’d “never grow old,” and where I was, “never gonna die.”  I felt like Steve Guttenberg.

Here is a picture of me that Jenny took in the pool.

The one ‘smoke and mirrors’ attraction that really gets my goat though, is the Moose Jaw tunnels.  The city and the website for the tunnels are all plastered with innuendo that Al Capone may have been at these tunnels at one point.  I say NO WAY.  In fact, Jenny and I had an ongoing argument about this until we could get near a computer, and then she wisely subscribed to my interpretation of things.  Al Capone was not in Moose Jaw.  Why would he be?  Just because they used these tunnels for bootlegging, doesn’t mean Al Capone would be anywhere near them. 

If I’ve learned anything from The Godfather or The Wire, it’s that Al Capone, being the head of a criminal empire, would not head on down to the lowest part of his operation.  He would have kept himself heavily insulated from regular booze movin’ thugs --- so he wouldn’t be arrested!  These guys only dealt with their top people, they didn’t roam around Moose Jaw helping to push barrels through dirty hallways.  I did tell Jenny that if she wanted to see a hallway where someone pushed beer, we could just stop in at the liquor store and ask to see a stockroom.  Haha.  When Jenny looked it up to try and prove me wrong, she found that there was not actually a shred of evidence that Al Capone was there.  Then why was I seeing signs all over town advertising the opposite?  Why does the website have ‘newspaper stories’ about a Moose Jaw doctor saving his life?  It’s made up to bring in the tourists!  I’m surprised they haven’t added a giant Al Capone riding the back of Mac the Moose.  It would be about as accurate as what they’re peddling!

(Bobby Deniro as Al Capone in the scene from The Untouchables where he gets a shave at the Temple Gardens Mineral Spa)

In the interest of being positive, I’d like to reiterate that Moose Jaw is a lovely little town.  Their downtown was cute, with lots of eclectic little businesses and old buildings that have been wonderfully restored.  One place they should be talking about is Nit’s Thai Food.  We had dinner there, and the waitress told us that most of their customers come from Regina or Saskatoon, because Moose Jaw has a lot of seniors who ‘don’t get’ Thai food.  However, being a dining critic in my spare time, this was a great restaurant that was worth the trip to enjoy.  Authentic recipes made on site without processed foods.  Mmmm...  Also --- there was a famous person who has been here!  Chris Klein, of American Pie fame!  I saw his picture on the wall at Nit's, yet I don't see it on any websites or posters! 

(The real Moose Jaw celeb, Chris Klein)

Thanks Moose Jaw!  And by the way, the reason I point this out is because one shouldn't advertise themselves as something they're not.  Because when the customer or tourist gets there and finds that its not what they were sold, they leave disappointed.  I didn't leave Moose Jaw disappointed because I was enjoying a cool gift --- but had I chosen to go there based on my facination for Al Capone or something, I'd feel ripped off.

Let me know if anyone spots John Gotti at Trudy’s Spa Shop!